Suicide warning signs: how to help someone you love and where to get help now

Suicide warning signs: what to listen and look for

Suicide warning signs usually show up in three places: what a person says, what they feel, and what changes in how they behave. If you hear someone you love talk about wanting to die or about having become a burden on their family, or you notice them saying goodbye to people or giving away things that matter to them, take it seriously and ask them about their thoughts today, not tomorrow. The US National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) stresses that getting help is more urgent if a sign is new or has increased recently.

In what they say

• Talking about wanting to die, or about having no reason to live
• Talking about great guilt or shame
• Saying they are a burden to others, or that everyone would be better off without them
• Saying they feel trapped and can't see a way out
• Talking or joking about not being around anymore

In their mood

• Feeling empty, hopeless or worthless
• Deep sadness, anxiety and agitation, or intense rage
• Emotional or physical pain they describe as unbearable
• Extreme mood swings
• A sudden calm after a period of mood changes, a sign Cleveland Clinic lists

In their behavior

• Withdrawing from family and friends, and no longer answering messages or calls
• Saying goodbye to people, giving away things that matter to them, or making a will
• Planning their death or looking for a way to do it
• Taking dangerous risks, such as driving recklessly fast
• A clear change in sleeping or eating
• Drinking alcohol or using drugs more

Signs don't always show. Cleveland Clinic notes that suicide can happen without any clear warning, and a person can smile in front of everyone while hurting inside, as we explain in our article on smiling depression. If you are worried about someone, ask.

Who is most at risk? Depression, suicide and other factors

In its fact sheet updated in 2026, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that more than 720,000 people die by suicide every year, that suicide was the third leading cause of death among 15–29-year-olds in 2021, and that close to three quarters of suicides (73%) that same year occurred in low- and middle-income countries. There is no single cause of suicide, but factors that raise the risk include:

• Depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Alcohol or drug use
• A previous suicide attempt, which WHO counts as an important risk factor
• Acute crises such as money problems and debt, separation and family conflict, chronic illness and ongoing pain, or losing someone close
• Experiencing violence or abuse, and isolation

Having one of these factors doesn't mean a person will harm themselves, but it calls for closer attention to the signs. If you suspect someone you love has depression, read about the symptoms of depression; spotting and treating it early is part of keeping them safe.

Is it OK to ask someone if they are suicidal, or does it plant the idea?

This is what families fear most, and the research is reassuring: it is OK to ask directly, and asking does not plant the idea or increase suicidal thoughts. In a 2014 paper in the journal Psychological Medicine, researchers reviewed thirteen studies of adolescents and adults, and none found a statistically significant increase in suicidal thoughts among people who were asked about them; some even found that being asked was followed by a drop in distress or in those thoughts. NIMH likewise says that asking people about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior.

As healthdirect, the Australian government's health information service, explains, asking directly shows that you care and gives the person a safe space to talk, and if they are already thinking about suicide, asking won't put them at greater risk. So don't hesitate to ask clearly.

How to ask

1. Choose a calm time and a place where you can talk without being interrupted.
2. Start gently with what you have noticed: "I've noticed you've stopped going out, and you said you're tired of everything. I'm worried about you."
3. Ask in clear words: "Are you thinking about suicide?" or "Have you thought about ending your life?"
4. If they say yes, don't panic. Thank them for being honest, and calmly ask whether they have made a plan, which helps you judge how serious the risk is. If they do have a plan, don't leave them alone and call for emergency help straight away.

What to say to someone who wants to die: listen without arguing, judging or minimizing

After asking comes the most important part: listening. NIMH says that listening without judgment is key to understanding what the person is thinking and feeling. An NHS trust in England advises letting them do most of the talking, asking open questions, taking what they say seriously, and offering support rather than advice.

What helps

• Give them room to talk, and sit with the silences.
• Reflect back what you heard in your own words: "It sounds like you've felt lonely since you lost your job."
• Acknowledge their pain: "That really is hard, and I'm grateful you told me."
• Reassure them that you are with them, and that these thoughts can be treated.

What hurts, even with good intentions

• Arguing: "But you have everything, so why would you think like that?"
• Judging or blaming: such as accusing them of weak faith or of being selfish. Cleveland Clinic warns that showing judgment or negative feelings to someone who is considering suicide can harm them.
• Minimizing: "We're all tired" or "You'll forget about it tomorrow", or treating what they say as a bid for attention; MedlinePlus advises always taking talk of suicide seriously.
• Quick fixes: you don't have to solve all their problems right now.
• Promising secrecy: if they ask you not to tell anyone, gently say that you care about them too much to leave them alone with this danger.

Practical steps to reduce the risk now: don't leave them alone

WHO notes that many suicides happen impulsively in moments of crisis, and NIMH says that reducing access to dangerous means helps prevent suicide. So make harm harder, and connect the person you love with help:

1. Don't leave them alone if they are in danger, even after you have called for help, as MedlinePlus advises. Give them space without disappearing, and don't put yourself at risk if they become violent; move away and call an ambulance on 123.
2. Remove or lock away anything they could use to harm themselves: all medicines, alcohol and drugs, weapons, sharp objects, and farm or household pesticides. Restricting access to these means is one of the prevention measures WHO lists. This doesn't mean stopping their prescribed medicines; keep them locked away yourself, and ask their doctor how to give them on schedule.
3. Ask about their plan calmly; having a plan or a means ready means emergency help is needed right away.
4. Connect them with help today: call the mental health hotline 16328 together, or book an urgent doctor's appointment and go together. Encourage them to reach out to people they trust, such as family, friends or a religious leader, alongside a professional, not instead of one.
5. Make a safety plan together: a simple sheet listing the signs that come before a crisis for them, things they can do on their own to calm down, family members and friends they can call, the numbers of professionals and emergency services, and how harmful means will be kept away from them. These are the parts of the safety plan that research has studied, as we explain in the treatment section below. It is best written with their doctor or therapist, as it doesn't replace an assessment and treatment.
6. Keep checking in afterward: NIMH says that staying in touch with someone after a crisis, or after they have been discharged from care, can make a difference.

When to go to the emergency department straight away

Get urgent help without delay in any of these situations:

• They say they are going to end their life, or that they have a plan or a set time for it
• They have started preparing: looking for a means, saying goodbye to people, or writing a letter or a will
• They have harmed themselves or taken something to harm themselves, even if they seem fine
• They are very agitated or angry, or under the influence of alcohol or drugs, while talking about death

If the danger isn't immediate but the thoughts continue or the signs are growing, don't wait for things to get worse: book an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as you can.

What happens after a crisis? What treatment looks like

Getting through the hardest moment is the start of the road, not the end. healthdirect notes that people who have attempted suicide are at risk of trying again, especially in the first year afterward. Plans differ from person to person, but they usually include:

• A careful assessment of the level of risk and of the condition behind the thoughts, such as depression or addiction, followed by treating it, as MedlinePlus stresses.
• A written safety plan the person makes with their therapist; a family member can keep a copy if the person agrees.
• Psychotherapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, to build skills for coping with crises.
• Medication if the doctor sees a need for it, never started, stopped or changed without their supervision.
• Inpatient treatment when the risk is high, or regular outpatient follow-up when things are calmer. To learn when a hospital stay is needed and how voluntary and involuntary admission differ, read about psychiatric hospital admission.

Close follow-up makes a real difference. In a 2018 study in JAMA Psychiatry of 1,640 patients seen in the emergency departments of US veterans' hospitals, a safety plan combined with follow-up phone calls after discharge was linked to about 45% less suicidal behavior over six months, and to a better chance of attending at least one mental health treatment appointment. It was not a randomized trial, though, so its results still need to be confirmed.

At Oxygen Center, the path starts with a psychiatrist appointment, for men and women aged 15 and over (under 18 with a guardian's consent), followed by therapy sessions and follow-up. When a hospital stay is needed, the center provides inpatient psychiatric treatment for males only; if the person who needs a stay is a woman or a girl, ask the doctor at the appointment or in the emergency department about the nearest psychiatric hospital that admits women, and in immediate danger call an ambulance on 123. Families can come alone first to understand the steps, and family counseling is part of the plan. The center does not offer services for children under 15; if you are worried about a child, have them seen by a child psychiatrist, and in immediate danger call an ambulance on 123.

Look after yourself while you support someone you love

Supporting someone who is thinking about suicide is exhausting, and you may feel fear, guilt or anger. healthdirect notes that helping a suicidal person can leave you feeling stressed or overwhelmed, so you also need someone to talk to. Tips from an NHS trust for people supporting others include:

• Talk to a friend or relative you trust, or to your own doctor.
• Take regular breaks, and keep doing things you enjoy.
• Try exercise, or mindfulness and relaxation activities.
• Get treatment for yourself if you notice ongoing anxiety or sadness.

And don't carry the responsibility alone: share the checking-in between several family members.